Our Recent Trip To Columbus Highlighted For Me One Major Skill I'm Lacking In. I've Dubed It Teenage Boy Syndrome...Let Me Explain
Teenage Boy Syndrome: The Inability To Form Coherent Thoughts Or Sentences Around Females Of The Human Species.
When Ever I'm Around Other Women I Seem To Just Shut Down.
In My Brain: Hey! I Want To Know Everything About You. I Want A Deep, Meaningful, And Long Friendship With You.
What Comes Out Of My Mouth: I...I Umm...I Like Your Shirt *FacePalm*
At The End Of Our Trip I Felt Like I Had Wasted So Much Time. I Could Have Taken Those Hours To Dive Deep Into The Lives Of Those Lovely Women And Gotten To Know Them Much Better.
The Close Female Friends I Already Have Are Simply Walking Neon Signs Of The Lords Provision And Grace In My Life. They Each Have Come About With Little To No Effort Of My Own. They Were Not There And Then They Simply Were And They Have Each Been Wonderful Sources Of Light At Different Points In My Life. But Even Those Wonderful Lovelies Only Know Half As Much About Me As They Think They Do.
For Whatever Reason They Lord Felt The Need In His Wisdom To Make My Brain The Dumping Ground For Other Peoples Problems *Not Complaining AT ALL.* I Love The Fact That Others Feel They Can Confide In Me And They Expect An Answer From Me That Not Only Comes From My Heart But Is Saturated In Biblical Truth. I've Had People Walk Up To Me In Stores, Gas Stations, At School, and The List Could Go On. If I Make Eye Contact It's Over lol They Start To Pour Out Their Hearts And Honestly There's No Where Else I'd Rather Be Because I Know What It's Like To Just Need To Get Those Word Out Of Your Head And Into The Space Outside Of You.
Carlos: Babe...I Don't Think You Understand How Important You Are To So Many People
Me: *In My Head* I Don't Think You Understand How Important You Are Because I Don't Trust Other People.
At The Heart Of It I Have Major Trust Issues. I LOVE People And I've Made A Life Long Effort To Be An Open Ear And To Keep From Having A Condemning Tongue. But...I Don't Give Others *Especially Women* The Benefit Of The Doubt. In My Head For Years I've Built Major Walls To Try And Keep People Out Of My Heart And My Head Because I Struggle With The Idea Of Unconditional Love.
If I Struggle With The Idea Of God's Unconditional Love For Me You Can Bet I Don't Give Credit To A Strangers Capacity To Love Me.
So To The Question.
Do Any Of You Ladies Have Issues With Forming Strong Female Relationships? Honestly Do Your Friends Really Know You Like They Think They Do? How Important Is Community For Sisters In The Faith? How Does That Need Change Over Time? What Can Those Of Us That Struggle With This Issue Do?
Well, let's see if I can get close to what I said. I feel as if the only female friendships I had (which were in high school), are not friendships at all anymore. We "like" stuff on facebook, occasionally say hello, but I feel like it's just to keep everyone happy. As far as a true friendship, a girlfriend I could talk to about anything, that does not exist for me anymore. To be honest (and I know this may sound silly, but it's how I feel), my feelings get hurt when you like someone's status, or picture, or whatever, and (in my eyes) you weren't very close in high school, like I thought you and me were. But, like you stated, I suppose we all never really knew everything about our friends. Like you said, you kept a guard up, and perhaps that's why we are not close anymore. And yes, I do realize that college, moving to other states does have an effect on friendship. But it still hurts to think that none of my friends really truly cared. Or even worse, did I?
ReplyDeleteOh Sis I'm Soooooooooo Sorry. It's Never Been My Intent To Hurt You. I HONESTLY Hope You Don't Belive That I Don't Care. Life Has Been "Busy" But I Must Definitly Apologies For My Lack Of Staying In Touch. It's Never Been A Strong Point Of Mine *Just Think Back To High School And How Often I Forgot To Call Back.* In High School I Had A Lot Of Dirt And Dander On The Brain But Honestly I Kept Those Walls Up With You Guys Because I NEEDED YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING. Your Friendship At That Time Saved My Sanity. I Didn't Want To Bring Up My Hurts And Fears Then Because The Time I Spent With You Was Full Of So Much Joy. You Guys Have And Always Will Be Some Of The Most Important People In My Life And My Kids Will Hear Plenty Of Stories About Our Adventures. Again I'm Sooooo Sorry For Not Telling You That Sooner. I Guess I Thought The Brides Maide Invite Would Show Just How Much You Mean To Me *But I Have To Remember That Wedding Didn't Happen.* Whenever I Sit In My Car For A Bit I Always Think About Sitting In Your Car After School Waiting 15 minutes On The Dot Before We Tried To Start It Again. Alisia Asked Me Today What Did I Remeber About School And I Said My Friends Of Course. I Have No Idea What We Learned In Class But I Can Remember Hobbits, Essays, Movies, Writing, Football Games, And Being So Thankful For The Amazing Girls The Lord Put In My Life. They Loved Me And I Knew It...I Know It...and Nothing Will Ever Make Me Doubt That. I Base ALL Of The New Frienships I Make Off Of The Ease And Longevity Of Ours. I Hope That Never Changes And I PROMISE To Make A Better Effort Of Reasuring You Of That Friendship. Your My Sister From Another Mister Who Shares My Inner Desire To Be A RockStar And A Hippie At Any Given Moment.
Deleteomgosh, teresia i said REPLY NOT MAKE ME CRY! LOL! that just made my night...no, my entire week, year and years to come. :) i'm so thankful you think of me, cause i definitely think of you too often. please visit alabama soon and let me know!
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