T: My Thoughts About Becoming Parents

I've been wondering if I should post this opinion for weeks...

*here it is.*

 I think the most important moments before Carlos and I got married were the times we spent before the Lord preparing as individuals. We spend our lives making a list of what we want in a spouse but little time was invested in making sure that we each were a spouse worth having. We tried to fix as many individual issues as we could and we openly acknowledged the ones that would take much more time before we said "I will".

 *to my point*

I think the same time, prayer, and honesty about our faults as individuals and as couple should be brought before the Lord before we ever bring a CHILD into the world. I've seen people have children for selfish reasons and I think a parent with a selfish mindset is beyond destructive. Children are not toys. It will be years before they see us as people who have faults and not as parents who are heroes. Matt Chandler said that he prays daily that the Lord will protect his son from his faults (as a parent) and that God would bring other men into his sons life that are strong where Matt is weak. I think we would be wrong to have children and not have a similar prayer in our hearts always.

 

 

We Can Sit At The Adult Table Now

You know that odd age when you are to old for the kids table but not old enough to sit with the adults. That feeling is relived when you get engaged. That small place between your single friends and the married couples in your life can be a quiet place. Once you get married you are opened up to a whole new level of conversation.

 

The first few months you sit at the married table and just observe. Everyone shakes your hand and tells you welcome to the club.  You and your love smile at each other and laugh at the fact that you feel very grown up all of a sudden. It seems that every human interaction you've had in the last month has been reduced to simple congratulations on making the jump.

 

Carlos and I have been married five months today and I still find it amusing to see how free other couples feel about talking about their relationships. I've told Carlos that I'm still not comfortable with calling him sexy on facebook.  I'm sure I'll get over that at some point but each day I find we have a little more to contribute to the conversation at the married table. In the long run I can see this taking a drastic turn because my Love and I are not wired to stick with small talk. Our nature is to ask the heavy questions and expect answers.

For now we are enjoying laughing and joking with the couples in our lives but soon we will have to ask a few things. Why? Because so much of the wisdom here should be shared with the singles and engaged couples before they make the transition. We want to see healthy couples come to the table because so many young marriages spend their first years in the ER and Intensive care. So many decide to pull the plug on such a wonderful gift. Why not drop life giving food, vitamins, and first aid kits to them before they walk the isle? Let them grow healthy as individuals and as a couple and try to help them heal all the hurts they can before they say

I Do

 

Things She Said

Here Are A Few Nuggets From The Wife's Prospective

 

 

 

 There are no sounds more beautiful to my ears than the sounds of my loves voice, his heartbeat, and his every breath. Each sound is a reflection of my Lord's loving grace and master workmanship.

 

I want to be the wife my husband deserves. I'm not there yet...but he promised me we'd have our whole lifetime to work on it

 

I look at couples that are a few "steps" in front or behind Carlos and I and I pray for their lives to be wrapped and saturated in the word of God. With all our strength and love...it's not enough without Him.

 

After two and a half weeks straight working my hubby is snoozing away and he doesn't have a 4:30am alarm to look forward to. He deserves a chance to sleep in and then a full day to chill. I love my hard working hubby :) Thank you Lord...I don't deserve him

 

 



A God centered marriage is in direct opposition of our sin nature because it REQUIRES us to be unselfish in all areas. To consider anyone (no matter how much you love them) before yourself will bring you into conflict with your worst idol *self

 

My husband may be a rookie right now but he is practising basic biblical concepts that will get him rookie of the year...MVP...and later the hall of fame. #yeahi'mabigfanoftheguy

 

Lord my plan seemed perfectly perfect when I made it...thanks for throwing it out so lovingly because it was perfectly awful....man makes plans but God orders his steps (such love)

 

I love it when my Love lets me read to him :)

 

A marriage and a wedding are not the same thing...

 

Lord help me to make decisions with my marriage in mind. There are things that would be considered a splurge when your single...but it's called selfish and irresponsible when you are married #stupidBetesyJohnsonstuffonsale

 

Marriage means: it is no longer okay to eat cup o' noodles for a week just to have that great pair of shoes...you both can't wear them

 

Tonight the husbands are teaching the wives how to play spades...by 4th of July one of these ladies are gonna be a monster at this lol

 

Marriage means: when your husband leaves for work you take over the entire bed until your alarm goes off.

 

If the awesometasticness of Jesus and salvation start to grow a little dim in your mind just start reading Hebrews...recipe for God's glory and our crazy grace filled redemption...*in my super southern voice* just don't make no since no matter which way you turn it for Him to love us like that

 

If Carlos and I hadn't obeyed the Spirit of God speaking through our Elders, when asked to postpone our wedding for deeper counseling. He wouldn't have married me...he would have married who he thought I was. #wellworththewait(stolen from Carlos)

 

Lord thank you for yesterday...guide...surround...keep...and grow us everyday after. I'm honored to be called your child and his wife :) (April 12th 2012)

 



Thing's He Said

I rummaged through my Love's facebook page and pulled a few of his quotes on married life

enjoy

:)



Fella's: When that fragrance leeks outta ya body, and your lady starts to vomit, cry, gag for air, run in circles, beat her head against a brick wall, then pass out...yet she comes back and lays next to you #thatslove!!!...lol!!!

Fella's, you ever catch your lady jus starring at you...and not saying a word? Then when you ask, "what's up?" She jus smiles and says,"I jus love looking at you". If so...NEVER watch the movie #roommate with her in the dark. #imalilscared...lol!!

Well, we enjoyed ourselves in Pensacola FL, but now we're back in Georgia. Still got about a hr left before we get to Atlanta...and I'm super sweepy!! So, ima turn on some old school r&b and sing off key to Teresia. She might not like it...but she can't run anywhere. #soIwinagain...lol!!!

Neither, Teresia's invisible steering wheel nor brake seem to work to well on the highway. Yet, she keeps trying them...lol!!! #supersad!!

#Husbands: If you don't take the time to have Biblical conversations with your wife...your REALLY missing out on some beautiful quality time!! #lovethesetalks!!

Heading with the wife to Pensacola, FL for a wedding. She's making me take a shower, and put on "grown ppls clothes" for this event...but I'm still eating junk food on the way so I STILL win...lol!! #enjoyingmyvacation

Started my four days vacation today. Laying with the wife in bed, eating spicy nacho Doritos, drinking Mountain Dew, and watching whatever comes on the Syfy channel. #lovemomentslikethis

#Husbands: I've always heard that, "loose lips, sink ships". Well, if that's true, and you wanna avoid that, I'd suggest you keep your boat outta lakes-that don't carry your last name. #my2cents

My wife is the worst at playing the whole, "I'm not talking to you" game. I mean, I'm not a pro at it. But I would assume talking to me...would disqualify you from playing the game...lol!! #butwhatdoIknow

#Husbands: When your hair is SUPER nappy and your face needs a serious shave, yet your wife says, "you look fine" and wants to go eat and see a movie. Is she (A) Being honest or (B) Lieing to keep you ugly, so no one else will want you? #quejeopardymusic

Ok, soooo I went for my morning walk, took a different turn then normal, ended up in a completely different city, saw a mail lady, ran to the mail lady (like I was four and lost in Wal-Mart) asked her to call my wife, couldn't remember her or my number, she laughed at me, I walked away...only to find out that I was ONLY two blocks away from the house. #whatamorning...lol!!

Looking forward to spending the day with my "suga foot"! Yeah, she got that kinda walk. We might go to the movies, chill in the mall, go out to lunch or do absolutely alllllll day. Either way...#imgood!!

Me: Babe, when did I say you could have some of my drink? Teresia: April 11th 2012. #marriedlife...lol!!!

Lord, thank you for the strength you give me every morning to wake up...and go to work. #grateful

Husbands: Having the dishes done by the time your wife gets home, will make for a GREAT night. #rookietips

I love that my wife knows The Word of God, and can encourage me with it's Truth; when I'm buggin and wanting to throw an adult size tantrum. #notfair...lol

The best time to experience the joy and peace of the Lord, is when your in the midst of a season- that's making it hard for you to experience the joy and peace of the Lord. #Selah!

Sitting here with the wife watching "Wrath of the Titans". So glad we serve a God that can NEVER die, nor lose HIS powers!! #OneTrueGod!!

Came home from work and my wife's bumping Dawkin and Dawkins old CD #superloud! If you've heard of this group, you know how old I feel right about now...lol!!! #gospelnewjackswing.

If I've learned anything from the tragedy in Colorado, its that I can't protect myself nor my wife from everything #gottaTrustinGod!!

Wives: Although at times, your husband may come across as the bad guy or party pooped to some of your ideals. But PLEASE be aware that he will have to stand before The Lord, and give an account for how he directed his home. #GracenPeace

Me: Babe, want me to go and get breakfast real quick? Wife: That would be wonderful love! While your at it, take my car and put gas in it. #marriedlife!...lol!!!

Sitting here watching Cujo with Teresia. #shesnevergettingadog!!

Wives: I believe I speak for all husbands when I say...we don't mind you mocking us, but please try and deep'n your voice alil. #idontsoundlikethat

Wives: Instead of going to see #magicmike, how about asking your husband to bring "that magic" to the bedroom. #takecareofhomefellas!

Husbands: Its NEVER a good ideal to irritate your wife right before bed...lol!!! #rookiemistake

Knowing that scripture commands my wife to submit to me, and knowing she's humble enough to do so; doesn't give me the right to abuse my authority. #bealeader #notawarden

Husbands: God has gifted your wife in some shape or form. Make sure you do your part to encourage and motivate her. Trust me, she needs and wants it more than you know. #donthinder #help

I just told my wife: "I'm so sexy, even my shadow gets hit on!!" She jus laughed at me, and said "wow, that's impressive" #covenant4life...lol!!!

Days off without my wife suck! No one to chase around the house. No one to tickle till she gives me #thatlook! And no one to make laugh as I sing and dance the songs I make up on the fly. #thissucks!



Start Your Engines

April 11th 2012

two people drove to Chattanooga, Tennessee to a little art gallery and said their vows before God and man.

We finished off our amazing day with a trip to cold stone creamery.

See...we are already starting off on a great foot.

It wasn't the fantasy wedding dreamed up by an eight year old girl.

It was a dream that had been tested by fire and time and in the end it came out holding ice cream.

It was better than horses and castles and doves...

It was ours...It was done...It was just starting

Those First Years Were The Hardest

was said over and over and over...it was the single constant among tides of wisdom.

With all the loving advise the first years weren't given much more detail than that.

The wonderful couples we look up to describe the first years of their loves together in a hazy blur wrapped in several deep apologies.

The Lord has blessed us with hearts that are willing to learn and are geared to teach so once the rubber met the road we were taking in and giving out information.

The goal is simple

give you any nuggets of wisdom we accumulate during our

First years

There will be humour,scripture,questions and us.

We will share and come back and reshare what we thought we understood when we shared it ;)

By God's grace you can ride along with us as we put

Miles On The Meter