As we drove out of the hospital parking garage with you in the backseat your dad and I joked about how they let US of all people leave with a baby. However as we paid for the parking and made our way onto the street the weight of the fact that you were really here and really ours started to overwhelm me. Your dad swiftly whisked you into the apartment when we got home to protect you from the cold. I realized then that he'd spend the rest of his life trying to protect you from hurts big and small. We were only home for a few short minutes when your dad had to kiss us both goodbye and head to work. As the door closed behind him I looked at you and burst into tears. I hadn't the foggiest idea what I was supposed to do next. I just looked at you and prayed you'd keep sleeping because once you opened your eyes you would need me. How was I suppose to know what you needed? I was terrified. After sending up several panicked prayers we started our first day at home.
We learned the first week that it's possible to function off of love alone because no one was sleeping in our house. We got our first introduction to your different cries. One of which sounds like someone is drowning a cat. That cry threw us for a loop. We learned to celebrate small victories. Every time we figured out what you were crying for was a victory...no matter how long it took us to figure it out. We learned to double and triple check the basics and remember that issues could come in combos. Mommy learned to take things one moment at a time. I wanted to enjoy every second with you not just every hour or day. I also didn't want to worry about what could happen in the next hour or day. I decided to take each meltdown and each smile as they came.
We had to take you to the doctor the day after we took you home to have you checked for jaundice. Luckily that wasn't an issue. However, doctor Spraggins was concerned about your weight. You had lost more weight than most babies do in such a short time. Thankfully, she sent us to a lactation and within an hour you and I were breastfeeding like champs. You were back up to your birth weight within 24 hours. daddy was proud and mommy was relieved.
Your first week at home was a beautiful foggy haze of love and frustration. Constant prayer for the little things and sweet moments of quiet sleep. No matter how rough a night was one look at your face in the morning had your dad and I smiling from ear to ear. You were totally worth every second of sleep lost.
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